SEEKING APPROVAL IS VALIDATION OF SELF WORTH

When a human expresses their need for approval or self-gratification of everything they do or say this is the ego making the demands. The control of the ego in them has become the protector of the lower self or low self-esteem that has to be fed by approval and not appreciation.The actions and thoughts of the ego-based personalities have a need to control others in order to feel any worthiness in their existence.Appreciation can be given to them but they don't understand this because this is gratitude and a part of unconditional loving and is not what they need or want for their controlling ego. The ego makes the person feel guilty and they live in their fears of the outside world not approving of their fear based thoughts they are creating.They live by this approval that they are right about everything but still want others outside of themselves to approve their behavior.They don't see their behavior as wrong because it keeps them in control over the thoughts of hate they need to survive. They thrive on hate speech and actions that manage others through mind games.
             Seeking approval for rewards and awards for work done as they climb the ladder of successes.  Self-recognition and pride that eats away their own mortal soul as they step on others through competition and back stabbing with their gossip tongue. Yes, they are seekers of self-validation and this type of approval of others hurts others because they are hurting themselves.Do they think they a bad by doing this to others?The word bad means love to them as they thought about their mothers saying it to them and it got her attention and it gets attention from others when they do bad things.So their agenda and motivation are making others depend on them to do things for them and become co-dependent on them. The guilt and shame live in them from all their past deeds of lying and cheating and this validates their thoughts of resentments and revenge they keep on others that they have done things to and just to validates to them they are better than anyone else. The right and the wrong have been twisted in their favor and others are just not equal or stupid to them as they think its all a joke.

     Seeing the world through dark glasses of deception and evil intent may be a far cry from simple validation of the self.The dysfunction is a habit that is not easily broken by just telling them they need to change or grow up.They are addicted to this lifestyle of getting their way and expect everyone to obey them or else.When they feel attack by others that try to help them they run and hide like a bad child hiding in a corner and the shame regenerates their ego.They are not ashamed of their words or actions there is no remorse or forgiveness for anything they have done because it is their alter ego.The dualities of the ego and the self-identity are at battle and disagreements are settled by the alter ego. They may also say "the devil made me do it" or "you made me do it" They will shift all outward. Living from the outside and not from the inside causes confusion and deceptions of the identity The need to ask for help for conformation is very different from validation.We all need someone to listen to our thoughts when we trying to make choices.The need for validation is not about making choices it is about "do it for me"  I need you to do it.This is the trap of co-dependency and doesn't help the person or the person helping them.Some people live their whole lives depending on others to think for them.
  When an attachment or bond is made to a loved one such a birth mother or father and they die the co-decency remains years after the death this is not grieving it is allowing the person that dies live through you.The two identities have merged into one like a marriage and the bond is hard to break.The two identities struggle with the past memories and try to stay in the past where the loved one was alive.They may have moments of clear thinking of the present moment but it doesn't last because of the security in their past.They like having a duel identity and when someone noticed they are not present they make excuses about their behaviors.There may be some chemical in the body that is causing some of the distortions but mostly it is a way for them to obtain what they call sanity.