WHEN I FIRST ALLOWED MYSELF TO EXPRESS MY FEELINGS AND INNER INSIGHTS THAT THE HOLY SPIRIT GAVE ME IN MY DREAMS AND VISIONS THAT WAS THE QUESTION EVERYONE ASKED ME.
I KNEW WHERE MY GIFTS CAME FROM GOD BECAUSE OF MY EARLY CHRISTIAN LIFE AT AGE ELEVEN MY PASTOR AT THAT TIME HAD SPOKEN TO ME ON THE MOUNTAIN AT CHURCH CAMP.
TO BE TOLD YOU ARE CHOSEN BY GOD TO BE A PROPHET AT ANY AGE ESPECIALLY AT SUCH A YOUNG WAS A SHOCK TO ME AND DIDN'T UNDERSTAND AND WAS NOT READY FOR SUCH RESPONBILTIES.
I GAVE MY FIRST PROHENCY AT BAPTIST CAMP WHEN THE PASTOR ASK EVERYONE AT DINNER TO WRITE ON A PIECE OF PAPER WHAT GOD WAS TELLING YOU IN YOUR HEART TO WRITE.
I WAS NOT READY TO WRITE ANYTHING THE FIRST NIGHT AND SEND IN A BLANK PIECE OF PAPER BUT ON THE SECOND NIGHT GOD SPOKE WORDS THAT I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND TO MY HEART AND I WROTE THEM ON THE PAPER VERY FAST AND DIDN'T EVEN READ THEM.
THE PASTOR COLLECTED THE PAPERS FROM ALL THE CHILDREN AND LOOK STRAIGHT AT ME EVEN THOUGH I DIDN'T PUT MY NAME ON THE PAPER I GAVE HIM HE KNEW THAT I WROTE IT.
HE ASKED ME IF I WROTE IT AND I SAID,"GOD GAVE ME THE WORDS" HE SMILED AND SAID,"YOU ARE GOING TO READ THIS TO THE CHURCH WHEN WE GET HOME" I WAS FEELING VERY SCARED AND SAID TO MYSELF "I DON'T THINK SO BUT I TOLD HIM OUTLOUD "OKAY IN A SOFT VOICE.
WHEN I GOT HOME MY MOTHER ASKED ME HOW WAS CAMP? I SAID, "IT WAS OKAY" AND WENT TO MY BEDROOM AND UNPACKED MY CAMP STUFF AND JUMP ON MY BED AND STARTED TO CRY.
I CRIED OUT TO GOD AND ASKED HIM TO HELP ME UNDERSTAND WHAT THE PASTOR HAD TOLD ME AND TOLD GOD TO I DIDN'T WANT TO READ THE MESSAGE TO THE CHURCH OR ANYBODY.
MY MOTHER HEARD ME CRYING AND ASKED ME WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME? I TOLD HER THAT I DIDN'T WANT TO GO BACK TO CHURCH EVERY AGAIN.SHE SAID,"SOMETHING IS WRONG BRENDA CAROL AND YOU BETTER TELL ME WHAT IT IS RIGHT NOW"SHE ALWAYS CALLED ME BRENDA CAROL WHEN SHE WAS MAD OR WANTED MY FULL ATTENTION.
I TOLD HER WHAT THE PASTOR SAID AT CAMP AND ON THE MOUTAIN HIKE TO ME.SHE WAS NOT HAPPY ABOUT THE THINGS I TOLD HER BECAUSE MY MOTHER
WAS RAISED A QUAKER AND HER FAMILY DIDN'T BELIEVE IN CHURCHES THEY WORSHIPED GOD IN HOMES OF OTHER QUAKERS AND NOT CHURCH BUILDINGS
SO SHE TOLD ME I NEEDED TO GO BACK TO THE CHURCH AND TELL THE PASTOR I AM NOT COMING BACK TO THAT CHURCH ANYMORE AND READ THAT SILLY NOTE IN FRONT OF THE CHURCH.I THOUGH SHE WOULD SAY FORGET ABOUT THE WHOLE THING AND NOT GO BACK TO THAT CHURCH EVEN FOR THE READING OF THAT MESSAGE. I WAS SHOCKED SHE DIDN'T SAY WHAT I WANTED HER TO SAY.
SHE MUST HAVE BEEN LISTEN TO GOD.I KNOW GOD PUT THOSE WORDS IN HER MOUTH TO SAY.BECAUSE SHE WAS NOT INTERESTED IN ANYTHING I WOULD SAY ABOUT MY DREAMS OR VISIONS I WAS HAVING AND USUALLY CALLED IT ALL JUST MY IMAGINATION AND STOP TELLING HER THINGS LIKE THAT.
SLEEPING WAS NOT EASY THAT SATURDAY NIGHT I TOSS AND TURNED AND KEPT WAKING UP ONLY TO SEE THE IMAGES OF THE CAMP AND THE PASTOR FACE AND VOICE KEPT REPEATING,YOU ARE A PROPHET " WHEN SUNDAY MORNING CAME I WAS NOT IN A HURRY TO GET READY FOR CHURCH AND HOPE THAT IT WAS ALL JUST A DREAM.
I GOT IN THE CAR AND KEPT MY HEAD DOWM AND MY MOTHER DIDN'T SAY A WORD TO ME.SHE DROPPED MRE OFF AT THE CHURCH AND DIDN'T EVEN SAY GOODBY. I WALKED INTO THE CHURCH AND HEADED FOR THE PASTORS STUDY AND I WAS READY TO TELL HIM THAT I WASN'T GOING TO READ THAT MESSAGE AND LEAVE THE CHURCH THROUGH A SIDE DOOR AND WALK HOME OR CATCH A RIDE WITH SOMEBODY.
I WAS SHAKING AND MY KNEES WERE SO WEAK I COULD BARELY STAND UP.HE WAS SITTING AT HIS DESK AND HE SMILED AT ME WITH SUCH LOVE.HE ASKED ME TO SITDOWN IN THE HAIR BY HIS DESK AND SAID,"WE ARE GOING TO TAPE YOUR MESSAGE SO I HAVE A RECORD ON FILE" I DIDN'T SPEAK UP BUT I WAS THINKING THIS WOULD BE THE END OF ALL THIS PROPHET STUFF.SO I READ IT OUTLOUD FOR THE FIRST TIME INTO THE TAPE RECORDER.
THE MESSAGE SAID,
THERE WILL BE TIME OF BLACKS AGAINST WHITES AND ALL WILL BE IN THE STREETS EVERYWHERE.
NOW, LET ME REMIND MY READERS THAT THIS WAS 1958 WHEN I WAS 11 YEARS OLD. IN 1958 THE WORD BLACK WAS NOT USED AND WE HAD SEPARATION IN ALL RESTROOMS AND LUNCH COUNTERS AND NEIGHOODS.SO I WAS NOT REALLY WRITING FROM WHAT I KNEW.
THE MESSAGE SAID,
THERE WILL BE RIOTS AND GREAT SORROWS BETWEEN THE PEOPLE OF RACE.
WHAT DID THAT MEAN RIOTS WE DIDN'T HAVE RIOTS OR ANYTHING THAT LOOK LIKE THAT IN 1958.
I READ THE REST OF THE MESSAGE AND SAT BACK IN THE CHAIR AND SAID TO MYSELF IT IS DONE AND THOUGH ABOUT HOW I WAS GOING TO LEAVE THE CHUCH AND NOT HAVE TOO READ THIS MESSAGE TO THE CONGREGATION.THE PASTOR LEANED FORWARD AND SAID,"I WANT TO PRAY FOR YOU BRENDA" I SAID,"OKAY" HE SAID ,"GIVE HER STRENGTH LORD TO BE YOUR SERVANT" I FELT A CHILL AND KNEW IT WAS THE HOLY SPIRIT TOUCHING ME.I SAID,"AMEN WITH THE PASTOR."
THE REST OF THE MESSAGE WAS NOT REVEALED TO ME THROUGH THE YEARS AND STILL REMAINS ON FILE AT THE CHURCH IN THE PASTOR STUDY.I CALLED THE CHURCH WHEN I WAS IN MY 30'S AND ASKED IF THE PASTOR STILL HAD THE FILE.HIS WIFE TOLD ME ALL THE FILES WERE IN THE CHURCH LIBRARY AND I COULD COME OVER THERE AND GET A COPY.I HAVEN'T GONE THERE TO GET A COPY YET.
AS MY JOURNEY UNFOLDED I REJECTED AND TOOK THE LABELS PLACED ON ME AS WE ALL DO AND STILL KEPT THE SECRET DEEP INSIDE OF ME ABOUT THIS STORY I TOLD IT MY TRUSTED FRIENDS AND MY GRANDMOTHER WHO ALWAYS KNEW GOD'S PLAN FOR MY LIFE.
DO I HAVE "ESP"OR GOD'S HOLY SPIRIT GUIDING ME? I AM 67 YEARS OLD NOW BUT THAT CHILD OF GOD THAT WAS 11 YEARS OLS STILL KNOWS SHE WAS CALLED A PROPHET AND THAT IS BETWEEN GOD AND HER.
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